my kids hate it when i say ‘ting bu dong’ (i dont understand) when i dont want to answer a question
teacher why are you not married?
wo ting bu dong
TEACHER WHY ARE YOU NOT MARRIED?
ting bu dong
TEACHER I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH
ting bu dong
TEACHER WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
ting bu dong
I have SO MANY great classes and sweet students
some classes, however, are hellbeasts
let me illustrate with a story from today:
I walk into class and the students surround me, handing me something.
"It’s a gift, teacher!"
It’s an eraser, shaped like poop.
"Thank you," I say, "It’s… cute?"
"It is because you are sh*t, teacher."
in english class today my teacher asked “what is the definition of poetry” and he called on me and i said “any type of writing that is not prose” and he got very angry because his lesson plan was to have a twenty minute discussion about the definition of poetry and then tell the class the definition was any writing that wasnt prose and apparently i ruined his lesson so he took my talking privileges away
my kids always pull up the sleeve of my sweater so they can scold me in true chinese fashion for only wearing one layer
TEACHER I AM WEARING FIVE CLOTHES. WHY ARE YOU WEARING ONE??? WHY DO YOU LIKE TO BE COLD???
my chinese students really love english profanity because they dont get in trouble for it
i try to just ignore it so they don’t get a reaction and keep using it
but today during a creative writing exercise, a character was arguing with a dragon, and the kids needed to decide what the character would yell
this one kid raises his hand and calmly submits his suggestion of “f*ck you, you foolish dragon motherf*cker”
i dont know its just
its difficult not to react to that
i always go to the store and pretend i’m an adult like yes yes ill buy some bananas healthy bananas
then i get home and i’m myself again like ugh who bought bananas i hate bananas mooooooom
SOME GIRLS ON THE BUS MADE FUN OF MY SHOES and then were all like “dont worry she doesnt understand chinese”
pssh like i needed to understand chinese to see you point at my shoes and laugh u jerks
i dropped a glass bottle and it shattered outside the 1st grade classrooms
i was panicking because the babies were coming and they were CURIOUS and they were gonna TOUCH STUFF
they all wanted to help so I was literally like “here, you hold my bag? you hold my coat? you can hold my other bag…” and everyone got to be helpful in a way that did NOT INVOLVE TOUCHING THE GLASS
they just kept going “oh no! oh no teacher! oh no!” (we learned “oh no” today)
girl scouts are letting in trans girls and letting girls replace God with whatever they want in the pledge, also they use cookie income to support abortion and LGBT agendas
boy scouts are just now allowing gay scouts in, officially in january, but gay leaders are still banned and they’re talking about segregation on camping trips, with gay scouts and straight scouts in different tents. also they still ban atheists,
girl scouts: 10000 boy scouts: 0
Taylor Swift has dated 14 boys in the last 4 years. If not for the sheer number of boys, this might be unremarkable. But dear reader, look closer: what is 14 divided by 4? 3 and a half. Every year, Taylor Swift dates 3 and a half boys. Where are the other halves, Taylor? It just doesn’t add up.